Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
