A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
