ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
