You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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