I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
