I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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