I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I have demons in me.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
