she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
