it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
