No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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