There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
