If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
