WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
