Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
In America we eat man semen.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
