bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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