i jhust puked up my retainher.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
