You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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