Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
