i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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