Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
