I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm like, not good at living.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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