I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We left the knife in your bed.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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