eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
