and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
