Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
