The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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