sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
