I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
soo... how was my night?
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