plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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