guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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