Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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