i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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