if you like me you must not know who I am
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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