someone get that fucking seahorse.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
