If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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