I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
