I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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