Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
50% drunk capacity currently
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
