quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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