is your mom at the bar?
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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