He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Randomize
