Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
