god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
