So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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