oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
