i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
