so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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