I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You were trust falling into bushes
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
