Betty ford says i'm here all night
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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