so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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